relieved...

*SIGH* so after 45 minutes last night of listening to him tell me what a horrible mother I am, how if I cared about them I would do what he says, how he is not going to share them with me anymore, how I need to take care of the things he says, call me every name he did when we were married (except my birth name), brought up every mistake I've made in the past 15 years, and said any degrading thing he could possible think. threatening to not bring the boys back to me...


FOR 45 MINUTES!

While I was at his mercy to listen to him because I wanted the boys back today.

The exchange went the same as always, I stand about 30 feet away from his car and they get out and run to me. No words exchanged between the two of us. That's the best. It's very sad. I wish we could be friends

TODAY me, the boys, grandma, and uncle chris, went to the Natural History Museum, California Science Center, and Spider Pavillion. quiznos and taco bell. Plus we had space strawberries and space ice cream!!!! LOL

lemmie tell ya bout spider pavillion. spider pavillion is the size of a one bedroom apt, all net tent with flowers, bushes and a lemon tree. these spiders, some of them 6-8 inches long, from end of leg to end of leg, all sorts of beautiful colors! lol how do you measure a spider??

anyways, you walk into the gigantic net tent amongst the spiders!! they are all around you. my 20 year old brother, walked in and walked out!! LMAO it was hilarious, till i called him a chicken, then he got back in there. lol he kept saying, this is freakin me out. 20 years old. my boys, 8 and 9, were happily running around the tent telling grandma, behind you!! lololololol i took some pics, gotta be edited, i'll post a few if they're good! so fun. spider pavilion!! Lol

So yeah, had an AWESOME DAY TODAY!!!

I knew that deep down last night he was just fucking with me. I wish I would of trusted my instincts, trusted God and not got so upset. But, he didn't see me cry. This is just another lesson to remember for the next time. I got a little bit stronger today.

Oh yeah, I also woke up at 4am and couldn't sleep! I've been up since 4am. I prolly won't make it to desperate housewives. Lol
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Oh, also, I watched don juan demarco, the worlds greatest lover, again this morning. Lol

Lmao.

THANK GOD!