Yeahhh, Right!

This man tells me he heard I was getting a private tutor for the boys and he had the nerve to demand their business card from me. Yeah, right, sure, here ya go. No, see, the thing is A) I have asked him for information from him over and over. i.e. Are the boys in speech therapy, who is their babysitter? Things like that. He has repeatedly denied me any information. And B) every person I have any type of relationship with and he knows anything about them, he causes problems. He has called state services on two of my babysitters for no reason and made them both quit. He slandered a friend of mine on paper in court. At least one time. He has called my bank and told them my atm card was stolen. Of course, they cancelled it and I couldn’t get money till I got the new one. Just bullshit stuff. I’m not giving him any info. He can take me to court for it. And I will tell them all the crap he does again. Doesn’t matter, they won’t listen. Well, neither will I. Oh, please, who am I kidding, yes I will and history will repeat itself.

a position of power

so, i found a way to accomodate the time the asshole has demanded. thank God. it's nice to be able to say, "yes, i can do that"

to Mr. WriterWriter

careful, do not judge. you have no idea why i cannot get there at 10 am. it has not one damn thing to do with being in bed. fuck off. i am very angry and this is my place to put it. how about i meet you on the street and take it out on you, is that what you want. get it off the computer and take it outside? i blame myself for alot of stuff that has happened, but others are not without blame. for the past year i have stood up and said i was wrong, wrong, wrong, and i'm doing it right, i have taken my shit and eaten it. i pray every mother fucking day not to hate this fucking demon, the anger will be removed when it's removed, and u STFU you don't know me and you are obviously perfect.

to Blondie.

to blondie, hi, thanks, i did just get this job! it's so great. im selling tutoring for kids, i love this product and the company feels im doing very well. so im happy. he has custody because i used alcohol as an emotional crutch and i don't know, some how drinking alcohol was the cause of it. the reasons i used alcohol in that way was because of the emotional abuse, i was extremly depressed, and was planning my suicide when i was with him. i left, took the kids, got a restraining order, out of fear, and lived my life, then we went to court and shared custody, he had them on the weekends and i went out partying then and he told the court, the court appointed attorney for the children hired a private investigator, he came to my house one night, the boys were there, i was drinking 3 tall cans of beer (not all at once) and he took note and the next day there was a hearing and they took them from me. i was not notified of the hearing and i know if i were, i would of been at that hearing and that wouldn't of happened. i had already been ordered not to drink alcohol because he told them about things i had done. which, at that time, i was denying completly. it's a big mess and part of it is defintely my doing. However, i cannot change the past. i have to keep moving forward. check out XYZ's comment on "more opposistion"

to StrongerNow.

Hi, it's so nice to know we are not alone. this sucks. a wise dad once told me that we are battling demons and we are human therefore we have to trust and allow God to fight this shit for us. so tell him, God, i need you to fight this fight, i give it to you. give him your children's well being also. it will keep you sane. i pray everyday for the hate to go away, i guess it goes away when it goes away. sometimes, though, i need it just to get through the day, i think. it's so exhausting but our children will know the crap we have trudged through to get to them, they will know that NOTHING could make us stop fighting for them and they will run to the person who they feel the most emotionally secure with. i make that person me. even when they said, we have two mommies now. i sucked in my breath and said two are better then one, like when you have two pieces of candy. YUCK! but we have to. then i say please God give me the strength. that's the only way i have gotten through this. it was meant to be, our meeting, for together, we will prevail!! Good luck, girl, and stay stong, you already have! Elizabeth

why fight all the time???

today, he leaves a message on my voice mail saying there was no agreement regarding visitation tomorrow that he would be at the mall at 10am at the food court. i call back and inform him, yes, there was an agreement and it was noon till 6 pm, on the answering machine, of course, and told him i was waiting for a confirmation phone call. he just called me back stating that there was no agreed upon time that him and i were to agree on a time and he is going to be there at 10. i said douglas, i don't agree with 10, i cannot make it there at 10, that was not the agreed upon time and you cannot simply change it cause you wish. he told me he would file an exparte and i said good!!! he told me to call my lawyer i told him i already spoke with him and if he wanted to be in violation, go right ahead, he would find himself in court on tuesday morning. he said he would be there at 10 and that's final. he also said that i would be lucky if he waited five minutes. oh well, he needs to abide by the agreements in court or he can go fuck himself. which he can do anyways. this man is the biggest fucking heartache i will probably ever have in my life. but let me tell you, he will not bring me down or discourage me in anyway. he is being so difficult because the court did not put the exact time for the visitation. he has to find anyway he can to try to be an asshole. let him. i win.

go ahead manipulate and teach your children to lie, courts don't care!!!

okay, went to court yesterday to learn that the seven year old told the court that i told him to lie and say his dad does not take care of him. i am so fucking pissed. i say nothing but good things to them about their father. i am hurt. i simply don't understand how the child who speaks his mind and says any damn thing he pleases could be manipulated into saying something like that. i never, ever said anything like it. i'm so confused. those boys need more therapy then i thought, then i tell the court, put them in therapy and they tell asshole to "look into it"!! fucking assholes, don't they care about the well being of these children?? if they do order him to take them to therapy it won't be till february of next year. that tells me that they don't care. i don't understand. i pray not to, but i hate him even more.