events of mediation......SMOKED, DICKHEAD!

So, mediation was very interesting. I really made all his lies into nothings. He attacked me and I pulled out a piece of paper to support me, over and over.


When we walked into the room, I had already decided with my therapist that I was going to sit on the outside chair. The last two times, in mediation, I walked in first cause I’m the lady, and I’m dressed like a lawyer, and out of courtesy just continued to the furthest seat, against the wall, with Douglas on my right, the mediator in front of me, a wall behind me, I felt very trapped. So today, I walked in first and took the first seat, the seat that for some reason made me most comfortable. Douglas stood there like I was just setting my stuff there but I would move on down, but I didn’t. I had to motion him to the seat against the wall.


After the mediator opened the floor with, 'so, what do you want?' Douglas' first issue was that on Mondays, the boys don't listen to him. They say, 'mommy lets us'. The mediator said, 'that's called playing the parents against each other.' Douglas stated, "yeah, exactly." I smiled. I got this. This one's mine, this whole meeting, I will rule. I had serious issues regarding those children’s' well being that I wanted addressed. I try and try to talk to him, but nothing but hate.


My first point was to stop using the boys as messengers. I gave the example that the boys have already cancelled August 5 with me. You know where they are going, I asked the mediator, not waiting for an answer, 'pharaohs lost kingdom', I said. Douglas claimed he 'had no idea what the boys were talking about, they must have overheard me and Brenda, it's a company picnic.' I said, because you do not support my relationship with the boys, I know that if they do not go, it will become something that I did wrong. I am willing to let the boys go on that day, but you need to ask me, do not use them to send messages to me, you can call me anytime, except for 7pm when you are supposed to make the boys available to me, and except for in the mall when we are exchanging them.' I turned to the mediator and I said, 'this happened throughout our entire relationship, all the fighting was in front of the boys, that is exactly why I left, they did not deserve to live in that.' Why were the boys were not available to me last night, why was the phone busy till 10 o’clock at night? 'You never called, it's not my fault when you don't call' 'exhibit f', I say, pointing to the big book of proof I made, 'it's all in the phone records.' I say to the mediator, 'he is supposed to have them return my calls and he never does.' 'That’s a lie' he says.
I presented my 50 page declaration of proof to him, and he said, 'I haven't received that'. Here is an extra copy for you, I say, sliding it over towards him. And you will see on the proof of service to you, it was placed in the mail yesterday. he said again 'I haven't received this, this isn't filed with the court' it was mailed to you yesterday, and I am here in Victorville today, it has to be mailed to you first then filed, it will be filed today. He said let's talk about the health and safety of the boys. That’s all we are here for, I said. I repeated that line at least 5 times.


He started to complain about me not paying him gas. I pulled out my document that stated Douglas refused to give me a gas receipt so I made best estimates and gave him a money order. Even after I gave him the money order he stated I had not given him gas money. It’s right there in front of you. Resolved. The mediator said, I’m not here to discuss those kinds of issues'


He said I let them ride a full size adult bike and Matthew had an accident, bumped his knee it swelled and he had to take him to the emergency room. I got very dramatic lol, 'where's the report, you took my son to the emergency room and did not even inform me?' He looked at the mediator and said, 'they mail the bill', he said. You don’t deny letting him ride that bike, why did you let him ride that bike? 'Because he can, I replied.' I said they always give you after care instructions, where are the aftercare instructions, why was I not notified of the aftercare instructions; you took my son to the emergency room and did not notify me of the aftercare instructions?


I made him tell me that he would not allow my father to spend time with them even though he was only going to be here for a week from WV and would not be able to come back until after thanksgiving. I asked him, 'my dad is going to be here can he spend the 6th, 7th and 8th with them, he can drop them off, pick them up, whatever you desire.' He said, 'no'. I smile. He said my dad cursed at him on the phone, he doesn't support him. I said, “I can't believe you’re saying that about my dad, you know he supported you.' 'No'


At one point he said, 'this isn't a game.' I said you’re absolutely right, this isn't a game, look at the games he plays, exhibit f, look what he sent me; I pulled out the mail harassment Douglas sent me. It’s a trick, it's an online search for someone’s driving record, but instead it brings up a license with a picture of a monkey in the state of chaos, and the copy of the envelope. I pointed to the envelope, 'I was with this man for 11 years, and this is his handwriting.' The mediator just looked at it, and then wrote something down. 'I have never seen that before in my life!’ Douglas exclaimed, like a thief caught red handed.


Douglas' second issue was me not having my driver’s license. He lied, 'she promised she would have her license by the time we got back here today and there are a lot of strange people and homeless people on there.' I just became eligible for my license a week ago; I could of not of promised I would have my license because I was unsure. This brings me to exhibit e, look at all the places I have asked him if I could take them. All the places we can get to on the train or bus. All for $3 a day. Everyone knows driving is expensive, and statistically it is more dangerous to be in a car on the road. the mediator was looking through the exhibit, and I showed him one in particular, look at this one, this is la film festival family day, all free, in Westwood, 4 miles from my house, I asked him if I could take them here, I offered to fax or email this to him, and he refused. ‘and you are forgetting the fact that they have family who love and miss them that you have cut off from them, they all drive, they all want to go do these fun things with them too, LA is amazing, it’s an amazing place to explore and do things in.’


Then, Douglas wanted to lie about me cancelling dates, I simply stated, 'exhibit a, will show you all the days and times and reasons he has cancelled on me on 2 hours notice.' 'That’s a lie', he says. 'He called me one day and told me he wasn't bringing them because I owe him child support. Guess where they were, in Arizona with his parents he said I denied them to see. The truth is, he never even asked me'


Douglas said the boys are in therapy, they call him the talking doctor. I said, 'thank you for putting them in therapy; I have been really concerned about that. Douglas said he told the boys, he doesn't want to know anything they say to the talking doctor. It’s just the two of them. I would like to see a report, I say. Therapy is not for court, it's for them, he says. I agree, I say, which brings me to my next point, exhibit I, is a letter from my therapist stating that she can and will have a session with me and the boys. I hand it to the mediator; he reads it and writes more stuff down.


At the end the mediator asked me, 'so you want joint physical and legal custody' which I had not even really mentioned legal. But because we are here for the health and safety of the boys, 'yes, so if a bum pushes them off the train, if can take them to the hospital.'


At the very end, all three of us were standing up ready to walk out the door; nothing can be mediated if you can't agree. I’m sure the mediators hand was tired, he wrote 3 or 4 legal pages. But Douglas had to get the last word in and said, 'you always cancel on them.' I turned around and said, 'I was hit by a car this weekend, I was there for them on Sunday.' Douglas and the mediator looked at each other, and I walked out.